As a mother approaching her mid-thirties, I have been increasingly aware of some changes taking place in my life. I feel more confident in my opinions and my abilities as a mother. My worldview has broadened, and I think I am more aware of the importance of global events and their impact on my life, and those of future generations. I have also begun to expand . . . in my waistline.
The reality of my age has set in. My metabolism is slowing, and my body is growing. I have taken a few approaches to dealing with this situation as it has presented itself. First, I attempted the tried and true method of ignoring the problem. This has actually worked for me in many instances… it is amazing what a child will learn to do for themselves if you don’t respond too quickly to the loud call of “MMMMOOOOMMMMYYYYYYY!” I also find this tactic works well in health matters (though don’t tell my doctor). Sprained ankle… (not that it’s happened to me in my sedentary lifestyle) but my advice to others, “walk it off”. Most colds, fevers, minor ailments seem to solve themselves when left alone… Since I have also been imbued with a greater sense of calm confidence — or perhaps with three children under six I just have no other choice — I ignore things all the time – and for the better. But ignoring the slowing metabolism was not having the expected effect, and my pants continued to tighten.
Second approach? The fitness aisle of Target. Video after video. Now, many of these were not bad… fun actually the first few times through. But by the fifth viewing of bouncing blondes smiling these overly happy grins and encouraging me onward. . . I had had enough.
I happen to live in a very fitness oriented community. It’s weird actually. I had never seen anything like this until I lived here. When we recently relocated to the San Francisco Bay Area, I expected it to be remarkable because of its far leftward lean, and it is. But unexpected was the overall commitment to fitness I’ve observed by my fellow bay dwellers. Although truthfully, there is a slight comparison to the opening scenes of the television show Weeds where everyone is running, and wearing the same clothing… a little Stepford-ish I suppose. (Which is humorous considering most people here deeply proclaim a sort of anti-Stepford mentality.) And yet, when an average of 10 people pass your house an hour doing some sort of exercise – you start to feel like an actual bag of oily salty potato chips… which in my case is good. I clearly needed some motivation.
Thanks to the internet, I have found a Couch Potato to 5K running program. I am currently on week 6, building to a 2.25 mile run at the end of the week. By the time 9 weeks have elapsed, I will be (hopefully) running a 5K. The program has been working out pretty well. I have yet to feel that gasping for air with a taste of blood in my throat feeling that I characteristically associate with running. (Another demonstration of my relative life-long lack of a serious fitness routine I suppose.)
Invaluable in my quest has been my IPOD. I have found rounding the next corner is MUCH easier when you have the beat to a great song blasting in your ears. You can almost forget that your muscles are crying out to you, as mine often seen to be doing, “Stop this madness!”
Seriously though, the IPOD situation is where I have recently found myself in a dilemma. My husband, being a serious music and IPOD devotee, set up a running mix for me, and is encouraging me to broaden my tastes past the 80’s music I would normally happily settle for. I now have a mix of rock, rap, hip hop, latin, alternative, and of course, 80’s music filling my ears as my feet pound the pavement. (I did veto country). Much of this I have not enjoyed, and have been paring my list bit by bit… but some newcomers have been great – hence the problem. At a particularly difficult moment in a run a couple of weeks ago, Akon’s I Wanna Love You started to play. The music was amazing… just the right beat and sound, and I enjoyed it so much, I easily completed the run. But as I ran, I couldn’t ignore the lyrics (which have nothing to do with love as exemplified by the lyrics, “cuz pussy is pussy and baby ur pussy for life”) – nor afterward could I completely ignore the nagging feeling that there was something not quite right about a devout feminist and mother to daughters enjoying a song with lyrics so degrading to the entire female population. I have many times imagined how I would educate my daughters to think critically about the messages promoted in popular culture… and here I was, tossing my core values aside for some great sounding music. Luckily, my “running mix” has such a large number of songs on it that I wasn’t directly confronted with my Akon dilemma again soon.
Still, a few other songs caught my attention as I was running and mulling the conflict between the enjoyment of a particular artist’s sound, and the abhorrence of the message included. Unfortunately, more artists than Akon fell into this category…. and as my dependence on the music to finish the run grew, the dilemma weighed more heavily on my mind. Would the greatest tool in my quest for physical fitness mean I would have to consider myself a hypocrite? Was I so wavering in my commitment to my ideals that I would easily subvert them for a quick lift on a run? As time passed, the nagging feeling became a full-fledged internal debate. What kind of impact do songs like these have on society, on women, on teenage girls listening to them, singing the lyrics? How much support do I lend these artists, and how much harm do I do by purchasing and listening to the music? Is it possible to appreciate musical talent separately from the message promoted through the lyrics? My logic told me that there were indeed some important conflicts here, and that the nagging voice inside of me was the voice I should be listening to. But I wasn’t sure if this was a case where mind could triumph over matter… I was left wondering if I could help myself – if I was going to find the music moved me despite my values.
Yesterday as I ran, I came to somewhat of an answer. Akon entered the mix again, right as I was nearing the end of the run, and desperately needing a pick-me-up. Surprisingly, the music did not inspire me. In fact, I felt disgusted as I listened to it, and before I had even gone a block I found myself skipping forward to the next song. It seems that the contemplation of the issue and the reflective thought on the lyrics was enough – the music had lost whatever appeal it had the first time.
I read an article recently in Time Magazine (Vol 171 no. 23), “Taking on the Thin Ideal” by Sanjay Gupta about how teenage girls who realized, “not only how they were being influenced but also who was benefiting from the societal pressure to be thin” were able to reject the “thin ideal” promoted by fashion magazines and developed healthier body images. While most women realize that Barbie and fashion magazines together promote an unrealistic and unhealthy image of a female body, I think we often fail to think as critically about music. Nonetheless, the lyrics to some great sounding songs are out there – objectifying and devaluing women. Unfortunately some of these messages seem to be more concentrated in music genres popular with the younger members of society. As my daughters grow into women, I hope they’re not singing along to this kind of song. I’d much rather they be exposed to a message that tells them they can rise up, take pride in their strength, intelligence, womanhood and expect more from themselves, society and the men who will become part of their lives.
Having forwarded past Akon, I finished the last stretch of my run back in 1979 with Video Killed the Radio Star – no conflict there, just some fun. This whole running thing has been pretty interesting. I didn’t expect to explore my values while running, though I may have to credit the experience with getting me to week 6 – it is certainly an interesting train of thought to follow through the music as my feet head further down the road. And my husband might be concerned that I haven’t expanded my music tastes enough, but I’m glad for the exercise – it seems I have tested more than my body.
