How about a running update? I blogged here about my 100 days challenge, and December 20th, the 100th day, has come and gone. I actually succeeded in completing 100 days of running in a row. For the first time in my life, I was able to say that I exercised consistently for 3 months in a row. And happily, it hasn’t ended. Another friend suggested a new challenge, a half marathon on April 10th. And somehow, miraculously, I have survived all my training runs and am now just counting down the days until I accomplish this new milestone.
Running has continued to be therapeutic for the most part. Someone told me that running is a great way to work through stress, disappointment or sadness. And I find that that is where my thoughts tend to go – almost inevitably – at some point in a 10 mile run. (I think the reality is that a 1o mile run really has time for just about any kind of thought – so maybe it’s just inevitable that you will explore all of your emotional states on a journey that long!).
Anyway, as always, the music plays a huge role in my run….. and when I’m feeling down, the lyrics from “Airplanes” by B.O.B. seem to fit. “I could use a dream or a genie or a wish, to go back to a place much simpler that this” seems to sum it up – at least the sadness part. And when I hear those lyrics as I run, I contemplate what I would wish for, and the return to a simpler time often seems quite appealing. Sadness right now, in my life, seems to come from some sense of overwhelmed or overcommitted. And yet, along with being overdone, sometimes I think I’m internally or inherently or perhaps intrinsically under-done. I spend time caught up in the business of kids schedules, housework, meals, laundry, my own school commitments, and even my running schedule – that I have little time to slow down and appreciate where I am. To sit in the sunlight and feel a sense of peace in just being.
And then, I almost have to laugh at myself, because having these thoughts is a luxury of having the time to think…. and somewhere in my run, where I find my state of melancholiness, I have also found that time that I think I’m missing. I’m not sitting in the sunlight, but I have in some ways left home and work and the daily grind behind (literally and figuratively!) – and I am engaging in that time of introspection.
I love the music on these runs… because it brings me down, but while there is a coming down… there is certainly always a way back up. I’ve been especially motivated after some of the sad stretches by Eminem, and “Lose Yourself”. First off, there is hardly a song with a better running beat! But the words work perfectly too when you’re feeling down… “You better lose yourself in the music, the moment. You own it, you better never let it go. You only get one chance, do not miss your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime.”
And that’s the truth really…. life… it’s once in a lifetime. And maybe the best is to lose yourself in the moments…. the busy-ness. Maybe rather than allowing the moments to own you, you need to own them. Make your choices, find time to reflect (and maybe run!) – and then, embrace it and enjoy it, and take hold of it. Because the truth with most of the busy-ness and stress that I have in my life is that I’m not willing to let any of it go. It’s a lot sometimes, but each part of it matters to me - I need to run less on empty and more on Eminem. Not that that’s possible really… but running in general seems to give me a bit of a pep-talk – the music helps move me – and suddenly, I’m further down the road (literally and figuratively) than I thought.
