Broken Corset

“It’s nice to know, I’m not alone,” says the Facebook status update of an old friend.  This, in response to a series of comments on her earlier status update regarding the constant mess of children and clean-up by those who care for them.

Not an earth shattering revelation, I know.  But a telling comment on social networking sites like Facebook.  I love Facebook.  And while I haven’t joined all those twittering out there, I understand why they love to tweet.  It’s about connection, reaffirmation, and community.  In the modern society of technology, working moms, and over-scheduled kids, it isn’t often that we stop and share the drudgery of life with each other.

Women especially suffer in this modern world.  Work environments are often still dominated by men – if not always in sheer numbers, usually in cultural practices.  Mothers working in the home spend more time shuttling children between activities than chatting with the neighbor.  Grandmothers are often out of town, state or country.  Our support system has eroded… and yet women still do most of the work of childraising, cooking and cleaning that keep a household moving.  But who is there to share the pitiful moments…  to tell you that their kids scream too… or their house is messy most of the time as well?  No one.  Instead, you have glossy magazines and carefully crafted shows that make working, having children, maintaining a beautiful home and providing delicious dinners (without gaining a pound!) seem simple.  Why can’t you keep up for goodness sake??

That’s how you feel…  until you put something out there on Facebook or Twitter… and the comments come rolling in.  Suddenly, from all across the country, your friends and family are telling you it’s the same in their house.  And you’re not alone.  What did women do without this tool?  It’s group therapy, support, and reaffirmation all rolled into one.  It’s the menstrual hut of tribal societies…  minus the blood and forced seclusion. 

Don’t hide your failings, your terrible moments.  Stop pretending to live in a  glossy magazine spread.  Tweet the worst that you have – or slap it up there on your Facebook status.  Social networking will do more to realign the expectations mass media has skewed and the isolation the modern world imposes than anything before.  I’m not alone and neither are you.