I submitted my application to continue my graduate studies two nights ago. My application scooted in just under the deadline, and I’m still waiting on the arrival of my transcripts. As I’ve considered starting back to school part time, and the major commitment and sacrifice such an endeavor requires, I have constantly vacillated back and forth over whether it’s the right decision or not.
I find that when I’m at home with the kids, focused on life here, I enjoy it very much. I like to cook, help in the classroom, hear the April fool’s jokes, hug, help with homework, and watch soccer practice. (If I could offload the laundry, I’d be happier). But the truth is, I’m content here in the home, I feel lucky to be here.
When I was in school, one year ago, working part time on a Master’s degree, I loved the challenge of reading new material, discussing it in class, and even writing the term papers most students dread. I began to dream about going on for a PhD, doing important research, and headlining conferences! 
(Oh, what a small ego I apparently have!)
Today, I read my son a story called Eliza and the Dragonfly. Eliza is a young girl who cannot wait to grow up, and as she looks a the young dragonfly nymph, still swimming in the pond, she worries that he will not know when it is his time to take flight. Her aunt responds by saying, “Eliza, a dragonfly nymph doesn’t worry about when it will grow up and become a dragonfly. It doesn’t wish it could fly or be more beautiful than it already is. It just mucks about in the pond, being itself. Then it wakes up one morning with wings.”
The wisdom of children’s books. This is not even close to the first time that I felt more inspired and touched by a children’s author than the gospel itself.
Clearly, this explanation speaks to me today. It probably speaks to me almost every day. But today, as I muck about in the pond, and worry about what steps to take moving forward, I envy the dragonfly. And initially, I think, “Yes, that is the answer. Contentment where you are… no need to move forward, no worry for the future.” And there IS wisdom in that concept.
But it isn’t complete… because we aren’t the dragonfly nymph, and our wings won’t sprout of their own accord. So if we dream of taking flight some day, we may have to do some preparation. The answer I believe, lies in finding contentment in the pond while we are there… to prepare, and grow, and plan, but to appreciate mucking about in the pond.
Today, I hosted three “playdates”, drove six children (not all my own) a variety of locations, folded 6 baskets of laundry, swept the floor 3 times, taught the dog to fetch, met with other moms to prepare a presentation at the elementary school tomorrow, made breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and did the dishes – and had a fabulous time mucking about in the pond.
But I won’t mind growing some either. It’s not all bad to do some preparation… when you’re planning to take flight – and it doesn’t have to take away from the joy of mucking about in the pond. And my husband can do the laundry.
